Speechless

For the most part, I try not to talk about D (or our relationship) in this blog. But something has happened that propels me to write.

Two years ago we were saving to buy a condo. D is not so good at saving cash so he was transferring the funds to me for safe keeping.  When he reached $9000 he asked for me to transfer his money back to him. I was quite upset and thought it seemed suspicious. He said he felt more comfortable keeping such a large amount in his own bank account and that we could still save for our condo separately.

Last year I asked how much money he had saved,  Considering a whole year had passed I was surprised to learn he was still at $9000.

Fast forward to yesterday.  I went to use the computer to surf for Christmas presents and D had left his email open. Well well well. I discovered he and his bro are trying to buy property together. And not just a piece of land- a piece of land in butt fuck no where. I am absolutely crushed. I am angry hurt and disillusioned.

Further complicating the matter, how do I even discuss this with D? "Gee hon, while I was reading your email I noticed you and your bro made plans for the future that don't even include me..."  I simply dont know what to do.

If D is secretly planning to end our relationship then I'm going to be in for some serious hurt and a bunch of cash issues.  Plus it leaves me totally alone in the city.  I have few friends and most are paired off.  I am scared. Really really scared.  I want to crawl into a ball and cry. 

I have always said D is the love of my life.  Obviously I'm not his.

As my “alleged” performance review draws near I find myself with a heightened sense of anxiety.  Most people have at least one skeleton in their closet that they half fear the boss will call them on.  I have 100+.  The past 21 months with “Four Eyes” hasn’t always been the easiest, smoothest or most fulfilling. It is hard to give a shit about anything when you are forever in the shadow of the boss’s pet.  The constant comparison erodes the little positive self esteem I have left. 

I use the term "alleged" because in my 21 months of suffering I have yet to have had one.  The 'bias' can't seem to get his shit togetehr long enough to focus and get it done.  My first review was supposed to be in April 2012.  My second in March 2013. 

In today’s episode of “As Four Eyes Turns The World” we see the kat slaving away at her desk.  Her two darling co-workers are chatting and chatting and chatting about their weekend.  We can see kat grinding her teeth.  It’s all she can do to not get up and slap them both.  The boss, ever blind to the situation, just lets them play.  In their world there are no repercussions.

Kat wonders what the boss would do if she intruded upon his you tube viewing time and tossed hot coffee onto his pants. Crotch level of course ;-)

Cubicle Neighbors

For the Princess & Wanna Be.  My workplace warts. 

I wanted to take a minute and thank you for the backstabbing.  Word of advice? 

Next time have the balls to come at me straight on.  Enjoy your 2 hour dog fucking lunch. 

I don’t know who disgusts me more: the lazy co worker who does fuck all, or the ignorant boss who allows it

I don’t know who disgusts me more: the lazy co worker who does fuck all, or the ignorant boss who allows it

From The Silence

I bet you thought you'd heard the last of the work woes....were you hoping I'd had my fill of Princess & Asshole drama and that the road had become smoother? No more hair yanking frustration and teeth grinding anger. Believe me- I had hoped too.

Lately a series of mundane events has launched me into the path of the dreaded (come back to bite me in the ass) performance review. Ugh. Here we go again with the comparison and criticism.

Why is it the people least impacted by tragedy are the most eager to 'move on' ?