For the most part, I try not to talk about D (or our relationship) in this blog. But something has happened that propels me to write.
Two years ago we were saving to buy a condo. D is not so good at saving cash so he was transferring the funds to me for safe keeping. When he reached $9000 he asked for me to transfer his money back to him. I was quite upset and thought it seemed suspicious. He said he felt more comfortable keeping such a large amount in his own bank account and that we could still save for our condo separately.
Last year I asked how much money he had saved, Considering a whole year had passed I was surprised to learn he was still at $9000.
Fast forward to yesterday. I went to use the computer to surf for Christmas presents and D had left his email open. Well well well. I discovered he and his bro are trying to buy property together. And not just a piece of land- a piece of land in butt fuck no where. I am absolutely crushed. I am angry hurt and disillusioned.
Further complicating the matter, how do I even discuss this with D? "Gee hon, while I was reading your email I noticed you and your bro made plans for the future that don't even include me..." I simply dont know what to do.
If D is secretly planning to end our relationship then I'm going to be in for some serious hurt and a bunch of cash issues. Plus it leaves me totally alone in the city. I have few friends and most are paired off. I am scared. Really really scared. I want to crawl into a ball and cry.
I have always said D is the love of my life. Obviously I'm not his.
