Insomnia Craziness

Gabby & I have another great business idea! Since the ‘smart-assies’ didn’t really take off, we are considering starting an eBay store and selling clocks for insomniacs. Call ourselves the 'sleepless fools'. Since insomniacs never fall asleep until 15 minutes before the alarm goes off, we would specialize in alarm clocks.

• A clock with a Mr T voice yelling "GET UP FOOL!" at 116 decibels
• A clock where the hands are frozen and don't move so when staring at it all nite long you dont get stressed out
• A clock with creepy eyes that pop out when you stare at it too long
• One with hands spinning at triple the pace to freak you out and confuse you
• A clock where numbers randomly fade causing you to think you have vision problems
• A clock that calls out the time every five minutes "It is now 3:10am, you have been awake 2 hours 20 minutes" - we could call that the mean clock. And for an extra $50 we could toss in an added feature that senses when you are just about to nod off the mean clock can bellow out a hearty GOOD NIGHT !!SLEEP TIGHT!!

This is going to be a profitable company. we could add another option to the mean clock- calling it the meaner clock. An extra feature called ‘reminders’.  Meaner Clock can tell you how many hours of sleep you have lost and keep reminding you of what time you have to get up: " only 3 hours left to sleep if you fall asleep in 5 minutes", don't forget you have to put gas in your car in the morning, remember you have to get up extra early for that meeting...

Maybe we could install a small high pitched annoying voice that whispers 'tick tock tick tock' all nite long. Make the tock part a tad screechy so the ear wont mistake it for white noise.

Gosh we are so evil!! Remember the old "Nanny" series with Fran Drescher. She had that whiney New Yawk voice. She'd be good. Or Bea Authur's deep voice. She'd be great for the just as you nod off. And of course Pee Wee Herman. His giggle after announcing how many hours you've been awake is perfect.

I also like the idea of inserting a name chant. So maybe you're just drifting off and you hear this "gaaaaabbbbbyyyyy” (really really quiet) then a few minutes pass and you hear "gaaabbbbbyyy” (not so quiet) then a hair splitting jump start your heart "GABBY!" with a soft quiet lullabye voice afterwards "were you sleeping?"  then the pee wee giggle.

Oh I like it!! I like it alot! Yes indeed- that would be a perfect choice. Another good wake up alarm sound would be 2 cats fighting. That'll get a sleep deprived zombie's heart racing.

And I think mean clock should come with a sister clock named nasty . Mean clock is in the bedroom and nasty in the bathroom. So when mean clock wakes you from your 10 minute slumber, you stagger into the bathroom and nasty clock shows the time at 2am, indicating you have many more hours to sleep.

Orders anyone?