"" hey... uh... uh.. um.. sorry your name escapes me. But somehow I remember that ugly face. I'm surprised you're still alive. I'd have thought you'd have been shanked in prison....""
"" Look! It's Danny! Oh dear...there's something stuck in your teeth.....Uh sorry...poor lighting....didn't realize you had a meth problem... So how's the cult? ""
"" Donna?! How's that herpes problem? ""
"" Pat Spite? Cathy Frown? I'm surprised you didn't take the time to wax those mustaches. ""
"" Charlene! Is that you? Wow- what a botched face lift. ""
"" Uh hi.... and you are?..... Lynn?.... hmmmm..... don't think I remember you. Lynn....? Lynn....? Oh wait!! that's right- you were that standofish bitch who enjoyed spreading rumors about me. OMG- Love to say its good to see you but just standing near you makes me want to wash with bleach. You should try the buffet. I heard the salmon is delicious and that the rat poison makes it quite juicy..... ""
"" well well well....look what the cat dragged in. If it isn't Morticia and sidekick Breeeennnnnduh. Meow. Well girlfiends have you come back to the reunion to stab people in the back? I won't ask how you are as I really don't fucking care. I'm sure you are as pathetic now as you were 30 years ago. How's life alone with your 50 cats? ...... What's that? You're not single? ...Well...Yes... I do find that surprising. With your looks being the way they are I just find it shocking someone could love your zero personality. Interesting.....Was it mail order? Prison pen pal? Arranged marriage? ...Oh well doesn't matter. If you want to pretend your inflatable doll is your spouse then who am I to judge....."
No reunion would be complete without a run in with my arch nemesis: Joanne
"" Joanne! Isn't it great that I'm still thin?! That's a terrific comb over. BTW you can get rograine for that baldness...... Did you ever have the surgery? ...y'know... the one to resize your vagina after fucking all those boys in high school... I read you can get the same procedure on your stretched lips.... I gotta say I'm loving that unibrow of yours. Is your husband jealous that you have more facial hair than him? ..... How's your brother? Did he ever get over having sex with you? ... ya I agree...incest just isn't understood. Did the doctor ever get your med dosage right? ... I heard you won first place in the "I look like Godzilla pageant". Good for you! ..."
