How To Torment Customs

1. Ship a time released aerosol that makes a hissing sound every 10 minutes
2. Dip parts of the outside of package in cherry juice so it looks like blood
3. Throw plastic spiders inside parcel
4. Insert a "that was easy" staples talking button into a super small package. Every time it gets banged or tossed it will say "that was easy" ..."that was easy"... "that was easy" ..."that was easy"
5. Mail HUGE package : wrap item in multiple layers of packaging that is held together with duct tape. In the very middle is a teeny tiny note that says "gotcha"
6. Write the declaration: sneakers ..(cross out) er...shoes..(cross out) I mean slippers (cross out) ....loafers (ya that's it ya) l o a f e r s
7. Use 'presidential seal' and return address as the DEA / CIA or FBI
8. Mail crushed box of cookies with a note inside that says "Look what you did. Your mother raise you that way?"
9. Wrap gifts in FBI 10 most wanted flyers
10. Mail 'Elmo" with a knife in his heart