What a night! First Lisa has some altercation during her bus driver shift- which results in 'emergency nachos'. Half way thru our nachos/bitch fest she gets a text that the alarm on her Dad's house is ringing. (Her Dad lives in Victoria. This is his 2nd house-its empty as he's fixing it up. And I mean fixing it up- the yard is so over grown it looks like a jungle. The hedge alone scares me) (The alarm company notifies her as she's only blocks away) (Gulp) Of course its raining like a Stephen King novel.
She asks if I will go with her to check on the house as she doesn't want to go alone (eek!!) (I don't want to go at all! Despite the hair-do I'm not really a Charlie's Angel) So we finish our nachos ( apparently one never rushes immediately to the scene as one wants to give any alleged intruder the chance to get the fuck out of there) (eeekkk!!!!)
And off we go. (was that thunder? or my knees knocking? or the sound of me crapping my pants?) She gets there first so I park behind her. I can see she's up ahead in the jungle but I can't actually physically see her. Then the fucking bushes start moving and I hear her shriek....JC!! I almost pissed my pants!! "Spider!" she yells. OMG heart attack and we're not even inside the house!
Up the rickety stairs we go. We were clinging to eachother so much ya'd have thought we were a couple. Into the house...... around the empty rooms..... opening closets......checking windows....and then all that's left........the basement. Lisa starts "stomping" really loud on the kitchen floor and I say "Dave- wipe your boots on the mat!" (as if that would fool any serial killer lurking in the (eek!!) basement!)
Then its 5 minutes of standing at the top of the stairs saying "you go first" "no, you go first" "it's your house" "but you're the guest" (I'm sure you get the picture. We ended up doing rocks paper scissors. I was thinking : OMG RPS is gonna decide who dies first) Luckily I pulled a rock and Lisa had to go first...... With Lisa in the lead I'm pretty confident (ok- somewhat confident) (oh who am I kidding? I'm scared shitless) that the serial killer/rapist is long gone. Who could have survived Lisa's spider shriek? All was calm until we get to the 4th step from the bottom and that step let out a god awful CREAK!!! We both let out academy performance screams and as we tripped and raced back up the stairs. Lisa yelled "all clear let's go". And we were outta there. A successful house check if I do say so myself :)
