Here's a light bulb moment:
The work stress is eating me alive. In an attempt to resolve the insomnia issue I met with a counsellor. While I was describing the itchy scratchy favoritism at work scenario, her response to me was "so what?". Then she said "It's none of your business if they have a friendship. You're paid to go there and work". At first I thought- holy fucking bitch slap!
But her comment stayed with me. And as I turned it over inside my head I kept replaying the "It's none of your business" part. Hard as it is to admit, the counsellor might just have a point. I am an advocate who just doesn't know when to stop. For most of my life I have been drawn to groups suffering an injustice. Whether it be racism or favoritism or abuse (and on the list goes) When shit happens my social conscience kicks in and my knee jerk outrage has me speaking my mind / protesting.
Sometimes that trait has served me well, and sometimes, specifically work related, it hasn't been as ..uh .. admirable. On I went with my life, and as you know, several jobs have come and gone.
Ok so its taken me years, decades, but I can see how that way of thinking isn't helping me job wise. So although I found Shelly's advice to be equivalent to a slap across the face, she was right! I need to think of my advocacy as laughter, sometimes its ok to laugh and sometimes its inappropriate to laugh.
What itchy & scratchy do is none of my business. Activist me does not have to be involved in their BS. I do not have to declare "favoritism' or "dog fucking'. I do not have to file a civil liberties infringement complaint. I don't have to do anything except simply go to work, work, and then leave work.
